Not Exactly A Brazilian Work Of Art

1. Pamela Love ring

2. Alexander Wang clutch

3. T By Alexander Wang top

4. Annina Vogel diamond studs

5. Satine skirt

6. Nars eyeshadow duo

7. Louis Vuitton boots

HERRO READERS! I was cursed with horrible hair. That's a lie. It's pretty, but I hate it. So I used to get the japanese straightening treatment, which made my hair too flat which is NOT flattering on my massive head. So now I get the brazilian treatment. Which is a miracle. Unfortunately, I can't get my hair wet for three days, and in this heat, that means no going outside either. I definitely follow closer attention to my stylist's orders than my doctors.

SOOO I'm actually in lounge clothes, and trust me, no one wants to see those. I am no charmer in sweats and glasses. I wore this sweet number to an art gallery opening over the weekend, and I ironically referred to it as my No, I Am Not The Work Of Art outfit. Although, honestly, the skirt and shoes are works of art to me. I would frame them if I didn't prefer to crawl up in a fetal position and nuzzle them instead. The porportions of this ensemble are difficult for me to pull off, because I do not have a model body, however with a few tweaks, it ended up looking fabulous. The shirt half tucked in, the black band compliment my waist, the long skirt making my legs look long, and the open toe booties to remind people that yes, I have skin and I am willing to show it. As shocking as it may be, I kept the jewelry pretty simple which still involves a violent looking ring. I finished the look off with a cat eye done with wet navy shadow and a pale pink highlighting shimmer. I may or may not have tried out a top knot. I may or may not have looked like a jackass. 

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Neon

1. Elizabeth And James sunglasses

2. Bobbi Brown eyeshadow

3. A.L.C. dress

4. Tom Binns necklace

5. Dannijo ring

6. Alexander Wang clutch

7. Elizabeth And James shoes

THIRSTY THURSDAY! There's a massive heatwave and it isn't very conducive to stylish dressing, but I say to hell with the sun! I will march on out of my house and brave the heat! For about 30 seconds, on the way to the cab. There's no way in hell I'm hanging outside right now. Sweat ruins suede. Remember that. And remember, My Eyes Are Up Here, Stop Staring At My Neck buddy. But, tonight will be a perfect opportunity to drink about a million ginger martinis. (Just kidding, that's called binge drinking kids. And that's bad. But I promise the ginger prevents ANY hangover. Just sayin.)

SOOO what's more comfortable than a cotton tee dress? A pool filled with cotton balls. Except they get in your mouth. I said comfortable, not tasty. The necklace is the single most amazing piece of jewelry I have ever worn. I love neon and bib necklaces and statement jewelry and rhinestones and dear god, if I could marry this necklace, I would. I'll settle for civil union. You'd think you wouldn't need anymore jewelry right? Wrong. Cause the mannequin just can't help herself. So a ring that doubles as a weapon? Sweet. How freaking cool are these sunglasses? They're dark enough to completely block out the sun and look interesting on top of my head cause I'm staying inside today. I love this clutch, but didn't realize the leather would stick to my underarm today. But, hey, holding a clutch with no hands!! Just sweat! Ew! Finish the look with simple shimmer eyeshadow and I am ready to be a pansy in the AC. 

Bows And Beers

1. Alice And Olivia dress

2. Proenza Schouler jacket

3. Deborah Lippmann polish in Yellow Brick Road

4. Iosselliani ring

5. Valentino shoes

6. Dannijo bracelet

7. Dannijo earrings

8. Alexander Wang bag

I LOVE BOWS! What? I could be going to a wedding. Or tea...with the Queen...or Sarah Burton. Ok fine. I wore this to happy hour. OK FINE. I wore this to the grocery store. But, in my defense, I knew I wouldn't have time to change before happy hour and I clearly have no shame. In fact, with bows, rhinestones and snakeskin, my Let's Just Pretend, Ms. Burton outfit could be one of my favorites. Til I make a better one tomorrow. Wink. I promise I won't ever wink again.

SOOO I love gray. A draped chiffon gray dress works for every occasion, hence my intro (suspend your disbelief people). And the subtle pleating and asymmetrical hem peeking out from beneath this gorgeous jacket with BOWS? It's almost too pretty to bear. In fact, it is. I did a lot of twirling in front of the frozen dinners. More bows anyone? Huge blush colored patent leather bows? I think yes hell yes. So, I rarely wear pearls and much prefer funkier, edgier jewelry and Dannijo always delivers. I've also decided, after MUCH consideration, that this is my favorite ring. A, because it's sparkly (who saw that coming??), B, because it's silver, yellow gold, AND rose gold (HOLY SMOKES BATMAN), and C, I have a thing for gem shaped metal, like the circular rose gold piece in the four prong setting. Finally, the bag. Oh bag. How I love thee. Tiny, retro, charming, yet edgy. All the things I am not. I'm jealous of a bag. Jeez.